Hilary Clinton proposes minimum wage raise to $.10/minute

Hilary Clinton proposes minimum wage raise to $.10/minute

M.O.T. (Ministry of Truth) News

Tampa, Fla -- Democratic Presidential candidate Hilary R. Clinton announced today that she would ask Congress to raise the minimum wage to $.10 per minute if he were elected President. The current minimum is $.0833333 per minute. Her proposal calls for the raise to occur in 2009.

"This is what Americans need, and this is what Americans want," said Clinton to a cheering crowd of supporters outside the University of South Florida. "Americans cannot survive on less than $.09 per minute. You can't raise a family on that. You can't pay a mortgage with that. With my proposal, the poorest Americans will get the boost they need. They've been ignored for too long, and if you elect me President, I'll see to it that they are ignored no more!"

Dr. Richard Hoffman, political analyst for the Animalgram Institute in Washington D.C., scoffed at Clinton's proposal. "We are truly slaves. Truly. How paying anyone $.10 per minute for an honest 60 seconds of work can be considered a 'boost' is beyond me. It's more like a slap in the face, if you ask me.

"Modern athletes get paid thousands of dollars per minute to play a game, and Clinton is offering a penny to America's service industry employees? These people clean toilets, flip burgers ... Performing menial tasks that an illegal immigrant wouldn't even do, and for what? Just to receive a dollar every ten minutes? We should just end this charade and announce that slavery of every person, regardless of race, is now the law of the land."

Democratic opponent Barrack H. Obama has yet to comment on the proposed minimum wage increase.