Our litigious society

The following was submitted by the man known only as The Borrower:

Crazy world. Here are some examples:

1. At the park, pushing daughter on swing. Back, forth. Another little girl is on nearby swing. She stops swinging, and looks at me. I look back, and look away. She wants me to push, but I refuse. Do not want to be accused of anything -- after all, white male with beards are not allowed to touch other people's daughters. I am target for lawsuit.

Filipino mom gets up from bench, walks over, and pushes her daughter. She sits back down. Her daughter stops again. Filipino mom has to get up again, after waiting to see what I would do. This happened three times. Finally, I told my daughter it was time to go.

I am certain Filipino mom would not sue me, but I never take chance.

2. Walking towards mailbox. Woman wearing black strap sandals and naughty shorts, walking tiny grey dog, also heading towards mailbox.

I slow, and let her go first. Do not want to be accused of anything. She checks her mailbox hurriedly, clearly intimidated by beard. I am from Honduras, but beard makes me look Middle Eastern. Live in racist society -- I dare not say anything.

She leaves. I walk up, and spot a mailbox that appears slightly open. I consider checking, and stop. I do not want to be sued for mail tampering. I consider asking the woman if she left her mailbox open, but do not. I do not want to be accused of harassing her.

Thank you, Borrower.

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There are some that suspect The Borrower is a composite character. Others have suggested that Tony or Damian are actually the Borrower. And some have said his speech patterns are reminiscent of a certain character from Watchmen!

Rest assured: The Borrower is someone we know, and there's a little bit of the Borrower in each person who exhibits Enneagram personality type six.