Walk the Line: Angel Jimenez Review and Spoiler-filled Commentary

And now, Angel Jimenez, with yet another offensive-yet-thought-provoking satirical rendition:

Perched here, high atop the world below ... with my know-it-all thoughts to guide me ... self-aware ... willing to boast in my human frailties ... the perfect modern amalgam honest hypocrite ... once again, DailySkew readers, allow me to pass judgment on a movie and the characters within.

Walk the Line brought a tear to my eye at the end. I found the personal trials that Johnny overcame, and his relationship with June Carter, to be inspiring and humbling. It was an incredible life he lived. Really.

But, then my bulls*** meter started chirping....

The first reading I got on the meter had to do with the length of the movie -- this is a problem with any autobiographical movie ... decades of ups and downs are summed up in two hours, and due to this limitation in modern filmmaking, we, the viewer, get the sense that struggles in our lives can be overcome instantly.

This is a falsehood, and a disservice to the memory of Johnny Cash.

Not that his estate cares. I don't blame them ... they need to "Eat, eat, eat, for lunch, breakfast, and dinner." We all have to make a buck, and have to sacrifice some integrity in that pursuit.

No exceptions.

Then, with the carnal knowledge of what REALLY goes on behind closed doors, thanks to myspace and CL, I started considering some of the scenes that were left out of the movie (and Johnny Cash's book that the movie was based on).

Like the scene where Johnny serviced the in-the-closet record label owner to get Fulsom County Blues recorded. Or how bad a husband the pill-poppin' Cash was to Vivian. Or how June Carter was a more-than-willing accomplice to Cash's lifestyle.

So much for romance and happily ever afters. One could hypothesize that he replaced one addiction (pills) for another (June). After she passed away, he died of withdrawal.

But that really is simplistic, isn't it? Who knows? Maybe he started popping pills again after her death.

Hell, maybe they were both poppin' pills, all along. Maybe Trent Reznor was hookin' him up. I'm just sayin'.

Who knows what to believe these days? In my opinion, believe the worst, and you're probably 50% closer to the truth!

And don't tell me he suddenly, instantly gets along with his father after years and years. His father blamed Johnny for the death of Jack ... and we are led to believe that this wedge existed betweeen them for decades ... and then, by the end, the father is wearing some tropical shirt, talking on a tin can phone with his grandkids, while Johnny slaps him on the back and encourages him to tell the story about the flood? Happily ever after?

Bulls***. Not buyin' the Man in Black fairytale.

And finally -- why do we waste our time worshiping Johnny Cash, anyway? Cause he was a Christian? Cause he overcame a drug addiction?

Give me a break -- most of us don't have the opportunity to live the lifestyle he lived. We don't fall into those traps BECAAAUUUSE we're not DANCING ON THE DAMN TRAP DOOR!

For example -- early on, he's singing at a concert, and there's a groupie in the front, showing off her boobs with an overly tight sweater. When the set is over, the stage manager lets her in to see Johnny ... and you know the rest (CL, MySpace, etc).

Johnny Cash pursued a career that is fraught with pitfalls and traps for a man seeking to "Walk the Line." He DELIBERATELY chose a career, AFTER GETTING MARRIED, that would mean playing for hot-blooded teenagers, night, after night, after night!

Give me a break! His suffering was SELF-INFLICTED. Nobody made him choose that path. Nobody made him take those pills to begin with. Nobody!

I will say this: the scene where he smashes his guitar to pieces and tears the sink from the wall was one of the most realistic depictions of a violent outburst born of frustration that I have ever witnessed. I got chills.

Anyway -- great movie. I highly recommend it. Just take it with a grain of salt, okay?

We here at the DailySkew disagree with Angel Jimenez's verbal attacks on Johnny Cash and his family, and have the utmost respect for the work of the Man in Black. We, too, shed some tears while watching Walk the Line. I know that's not a guy thing to do....

Anyway, we here at the DailySkew do support the right to free speech, and we encourage comments and submitted articles.