I've Lost All Faith in Banking Executives
It is with a sorrow-filled heart that I must state here on the WWW to all five of our readers that, in fact, BANKING EXECUTIVES ARE CLUELESS. They are completely out of touch with the reality out here, where the houses are ... where mortgages are more than just a blip on a balance sheet.
It's like watching Peter Sellers negotiate with the Russian Premier while a lone bomber journeys into the heart of the Soviet Union, about to set off the Apocalypse.
***
Let me take you back to two weeks ago. I was speaking with a friend named Arnie who owns two homes. He lives in one, and rents out the other to a cousin. The cousin has decided to take advantage of the plethora of foreclosures on the market, and buy a steeply-discounted home -- nothing wrong with that, even though Arnie felt Betrayed (tm) that the cousin didn't offer to buy the home he was renting ... you know, the one that Arnie spent tens of thousands of dollars fixing up.
"That's fine."
So, Arnie was considering letting go of both homes. "What am I gonna do? I can't find a trustworthy renter, and my other mortgage is killing me."
Now, Arnie is in better shape than most. He's CURRENT on both mortgages. He owes approximately $300,000 on both. I told him that if he were in San Fransisco, he would be sitting pretty -- they WISH they could have a cheap $300,000 mortgage over there! He and his wife both have stable jobs. They earn enough money to hold on to both properties. It would be tough, but doable.
That dose of Perspective (tm) was not enough. Arnie still questioned the wisdom of paying close to $3,000 a month on two properties -- $36,000 in a year ... $360,000 in TEN YEARS -- when he could rent the same home nearby for only $800 a month. He reasoned that he could put the money he'd be saving on the mortgages into savings, and buy a home with CASH in three to five years. Meanwhile, there's absolutely ZERO guarantee his homes will be worth the money he puts in one decade from now.
I tried more Perspective (tm). I explained that his credit is valuable, and should not be tossed away so easily. I explained that just b/c other home buyers are jumping off the proverbial Brooklyn Bridge, it doesn't mean he should join them. I stated that the market remains unpredictable -- the experts didn't see the crash in prices. Why would they see a recovery?
I finally stated the following:
I looked up his bank's website. The best they could do was convert his current mortgage to one with a longer term, and possibly lower interest rates. Thanks, and have a nice day.
Offering a lower monthly payment is not what guys like Arnie, who feel like they're being SCREWED every time they pay their mortgage ... who feel like "The Man" is benefiting from his timely payments, and is deaf to his pleas for help ... offering a lower monthly payment to a person with A+ credit is a slap in the face.
***
But that's not all, folks ... enter: The SHORT SALE.
Ah, yes, the short sale. The balm that cures an indebted buyer's ills.
Oh, you didn't know what a Short Sale was?
Well, guess what? Realtors (ahaha) don't want to do Short Sales. Why, you ask?
Their official pitch is that:
The DailySkew translation of the Realtor's (tm) pitch is as follows:
One final thought: it occurs to me that the banks are waiting for Washington D.C. to come up with a solution. They're waiting for our Congressmen and women to FORCE them to lower the principal owed by people like Arnold, and ENCOURAGE honest buyers to stick with the current system.
So, not only are the bank executives STUPID, but they're GUTLESS.
They're AFRAID to take a course of action that will LOSE MONEY IN THE SHORT RUN IN ORDER TO SAVE THE MORTGAGE SYSTEM AS WE KNOW IT! WHAT A BUNCH OF GUTLESS, SHORT-SIGHTED FOOLS!
Look, our economic system is based on FAITH. The greenback requires FAITH from the masses. It requires BELIEF in order to have VALUE. HELLO.
By holding firm ... by continuing to be ARROGANT, the banks are eroding faith and belief amongst the people.
And, we, the people, are going to eat, eat, eat what they sow ... and weep.
No wonder they're arrogant, gutless, and stupid. There's no motivation to be any other way.
Maybe the anti-matter cloud that is hitting our banking system is a good thing, after all.
It's like watching Peter Sellers negotiate with the Russian Premier while a lone bomber journeys into the heart of the Soviet Union, about to set off the Apocalypse.
***
Let me take you back to two weeks ago. I was speaking with a friend named Arnie who owns two homes. He lives in one, and rents out the other to a cousin. The cousin has decided to take advantage of the plethora of foreclosures on the market, and buy a steeply-discounted home -- nothing wrong with that, even though Arnie felt Betrayed (tm) that the cousin didn't offer to buy the home he was renting ... you know, the one that Arnie spent tens of thousands of dollars fixing up.
"That's fine."
So, Arnie was considering letting go of both homes. "What am I gonna do? I can't find a trustworthy renter, and my other mortgage is killing me."
Now, Arnie is in better shape than most. He's CURRENT on both mortgages. He owes approximately $300,000 on both. I told him that if he were in San Fransisco, he would be sitting pretty -- they WISH they could have a cheap $300,000 mortgage over there! He and his wife both have stable jobs. They earn enough money to hold on to both properties. It would be tough, but doable.
That dose of Perspective (tm) was not enough. Arnie still questioned the wisdom of paying close to $3,000 a month on two properties -- $36,000 in a year ... $360,000 in TEN YEARS -- when he could rent the same home nearby for only $800 a month. He reasoned that he could put the money he'd be saving on the mortgages into savings, and buy a home with CASH in three to five years. Meanwhile, there's absolutely ZERO guarantee his homes will be worth the money he puts in one decade from now.
I tried more Perspective (tm). I explained that his credit is valuable, and should not be tossed away so easily. I explained that just b/c other home buyers are jumping off the proverbial Brooklyn Bridge, it doesn't mean he should join them. I stated that the market remains unpredictable -- the experts didn't see the crash in prices. Why would they see a recovery?
I finally stated the following:
Have you contacted the bank? You're current with your mortgages. I'm sure they will help you. The banks can't POSSIBLY be as arrogant as they have been recently. In the past, they would've held firm and forced you to pay or walk away, but now? Come on! They would be STUPID not to negotiate with you!Right.
Go to their website. I'm sure they have programs available for honest customers like yourself. Surely they're willing to work with someone who is CURRENT on their mortgage.
I looked up his bank's website. The best they could do was convert his current mortgage to one with a longer term, and possibly lower interest rates. Thanks, and have a nice day.
Offering a lower monthly payment is not what guys like Arnie, who feel like they're being SCREWED every time they pay their mortgage ... who feel like "The Man" is benefiting from his timely payments, and is deaf to his pleas for help ... offering a lower monthly payment to a person with A+ credit is a slap in the face.
***
But that's not all, folks ... enter: The SHORT SALE.
Ah, yes, the short sale. The balm that cures an indebted buyer's ills.
Oh, you didn't know what a Short Sale was?
Well, guess what? Realtors (ahaha) don't want to do Short Sales. Why, you ask?
Their official pitch is that:
- It takes 4-6 weeks for the bank to sort through all the bids.
- If there are a lot of bids on a home, the bank will assume there's demand and jack up the price.
- The seller sets the price low to draw in potential buyers ... yet the price is not officially approved by the bank.
The DailySkew translation of the Realtor's (tm) pitch is as follows:
- I needs to get paid. I got my own mortgage to pay, biootch.
- I can get a sweet foreclosure with less hassle for you.
- The bank don't give a damn about the seller, and neither do I!
One final thought: it occurs to me that the banks are waiting for Washington D.C. to come up with a solution. They're waiting for our Congressmen and women to FORCE them to lower the principal owed by people like Arnold, and ENCOURAGE honest buyers to stick with the current system.
So, not only are the bank executives STUPID, but they're GUTLESS.
They're AFRAID to take a course of action that will LOSE MONEY IN THE SHORT RUN IN ORDER TO SAVE THE MORTGAGE SYSTEM AS WE KNOW IT! WHAT A BUNCH OF GUTLESS, SHORT-SIGHTED FOOLS!
Look, our economic system is based on FAITH. The greenback requires FAITH from the masses. It requires BELIEF in order to have VALUE. HELLO.
By holding firm ... by continuing to be ARROGANT, the banks are eroding faith and belief amongst the people.
And, we, the people, are going to eat, eat, eat what they sow ... and weep.
No wonder they're arrogant, gutless, and stupid. There's no motivation to be any other way.
Maybe the anti-matter cloud that is hitting our banking system is a good thing, after all.Labels: banking, belief, clueless, executives, faith, gutless, mortgage, short sale, stupid, system, two words for ya, ultraman
posted by Skew | Monday, April 14, 2008
5 Comments:
Earth Never: Solution to Banking Crisis Signed by President; Bank Executives Applaud
Washington, D.C. -- An amazing week of bipartisanship in the nation's capital culminated with George W. Bush signing into law the Shared Sacrifice Mortgage Restructuring Bill, while executives from Citigroup, Wachovia, Bank of America, Washington Mutual, and other banks stood behind the President and applauded.
"With this bill, the mortgage crisis is officially solved!" stated a confident Mr. Bush, prior to signing the multi-billion dollar restructuring.
The plan is a win-win-win for buyers, bankers, and the government.
For buyers who are current or less than three months behind on their mortgage, the banks will offer a reduction of their principal to the Fair Market Value of similar homes in their area.
"This is a major victory for home owners who have honestly made the effort to pay their mortgage, while watching new neighbors buy homes for half of what they paid for," stated Dr. Anton Di Carlo, noted societal observer. "Psychologically, this is a huge boost for the honest consumer. It shows that their efforts are being rewarded."
Banks, while losing billions on the principal of current mortgages, will prevent needless foreclosures.
"Those foreclosures would have cost us at least two to three times what we're losing here today. Quite frankly, this is a no-brainer," Ken Lewis, CEO of Bank of America, stated afterwards.
The Federal Government will reap the benefit of being able to tax the forgiveness of principal on homeowner's loans as income. Banks agreed to give homeowners new lines of credit and using that credit to pay the cost of those taxes.
"At the end of the day, we all had to make sacrifices," stated the President after the signing. "But the shared sacrifice makes this a better situation for everyone in the long run. Homeowners will pay less for their homes, even with the additional line of credit. Banks save money by preventing foreclosures. The government benefits by bringing in more taxes to help our nation's weakening infrastructure."
When asked about the moral hazard of bailing out banks and buyers who made poor decisions, the President stated, "Hey, everyone was wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right, and three wrongs don't make a right. Everyone here standing with me has made mistakes in this situation, including myself. We didn't do a good job anticipating this, the banks were loaning money to people who couldn't pay, and people were getting loans they couldn't afford.
"Listen, this bill helps the honest homeowner who is saying to himself, 'Why should I pay for this home when I can get something cheaper and just let this go?' I understand why they feel that way ... and we could not allow that to happen. That's why we've acted today. It's not about moral hazard. It's about preventing a bad situation from getting worse. It's about solutions, and I believe we have the right solution today."
Methinks Vahl = Edward Nigma
Hello. Here in Egypt we cannot afford even a piece of bread. You are very lucky to be where you are, American.
I pray you will be servant in the afterlife. I will beat you until your spoiled attitude is gone. Then you will make a worthy slave.
I must go. My uncle needs his computer back.
Earth-Never: After Final Crisis, DC releases a JLI One Shot:
WHAT CRISIS?
Ted Kord, inexplicably back from the dead, and Booster Gold are seated at a table outside, under an umbrella, sipping margaritas in Cabo Wabo. Ted looks at the reader and says, "I don't know what you're talking about."
ULTRA MAN! ULTRA MAN! DON'T LEEEEAAVVVEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home