"Weighing in at 4.65 GB ... Google Desktop!"
The following is a narrative poem, like the classics epics of the past:
Are you kidding me?
I'm out of space
C drive filled
Can't upload photos for wife
Can't listen to MLB
Websites won't load
Microsoft error messages
Welcome to 21st century hell
Is it Silverlight?
Automatically blaming Gates
Read about a weakness
on MLB.com
Have I been sabatoged
by a nameless
faceless
hacker?
Is my computer infected?
I find some way
to free up 50 megs
to finish helping my wife
and moments later...
... it's gone!
Good-bye!
I watched 50 megs
DISappe....
As I hit F5 on Explorer
Damn
I must be infected.
I scan.
I AVG.
I Spybot.
I Ad-Aware.
Nothing.
I delete more crud
Space restored
to 60 megabytes, Captain
Running on Impulse power
I turn it off
Shut DOWN
After staying up
an hour more
than I planned
The next evening
after work
I reboot, hoping
praying
Nah. 60 megs still
I do a search
*.*
Date Modified?
The past week
I pull up the results
And what do I see?
4.65GB
Five files
like rpm.cb1
taking up a
total
of
4
.
6
5
G
B
Here, I've been
cursing Microsoft
Cursing Thorbjorn
for telling me
10GB would be
enough for my
partitioned
C drive
Cursing my Charlie Brown
Misfortune
And it was Google
E tu, Brute?
I LOVE Google
I love Google Desktop
It's made my life easier
but at what cost?
4.65 GB?
Too much
Too much
Es Mucho
I have to
uninstall
walk away
give it up
I had
just uninstalled
Photoshop
I've uninstalled
SO MANY THINGS
OVER THE PAST
TWO YEARS
E tu, Google.
Ceasar's hitting
the delete button
on that knife
to the back
He's going to
Control Panel
He's taking back
What's his
4.65
Uninstall
The prompt
DIRE WARNING
Am I sure?
Google won't be able
to protect me
from malware
from phishing
from evil
F*** YOU, BRUTE
GIVE ME BACK
MY 4.65 GB
YOU DAMN DIRTY DESKTOP!
4.65 GB
I am relieved
A triumph
I won't have to
buy a new computer
reinstall Windows
Install Linux
buy a new hard drive
A triumph
Now
Where's that Photoshop disk?
Suddenly
I feel like that guy
planting the flag
While Heston laughs
Labels: 21st century hell, 4.65 GB, C Drive failed, Charlie Brown, desktop, gates, Google, impulse power, mlb.com, modified, narrative poem, photoshop, shut down, silverlight, space, triumph

5 Comments:
10/10
*****
Thanks, bro.
Can I send you a Daily Balance rebuttal on your recent Google rants?
Sure. Drop us an email.
Oh crap, I hope I don't have to read a defense of Google. They just PR: Zero'ed hundreds of sites this morning.
They even PR:0'd a blogger who had "PPP" in their subject title- and the blogger wasn't even making paid ads!
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