Speed Racer Crashed, Thank God
Here are my reasons why I smiled when I heard the news that Speed Racer bombed:
- I won’t have to see those INSANE acid-trip-inducing colors and video-game cheese graphics flashed on my television screen ad infinitum on commercials, promos, awards shows, etc. Once it’s out on DVD, the next time I expect to see this movie is in a Wal-Mart $5.00 bin.
- Let me just stress the fact that I AM SO THRILLED that I won’t have to hear about how great SPEED RACER the MOVIE was for the rest of the decade.
- I am not a Speed Racer fan. Believe me, I tried — I remember I bought issue one of some manga Speed Racer back in the 80’s, to try to get into the myth … and I’m sorry, but Robotech it was not. Unlike anime I enjoy, this story was thin. There didn’t seem to be any substance to it.
- Racer-X is Speed Racer’s long-dead brother — wow. What a mystery. I’m sure Sherlock Holmes could have solved that in … what? A split-second? In his sleep? Would he have turned to his cocaine and asked Dr. Watson to solve it, so boring was the mystery?
- Sorry, but cool-looking vehicles just don’t cut it. If I want to watch cool cars and crazy stunts, I’ll watch Tokyo Drift.
- Who thought that throwing computer graphics on the bring screen would sell to audiences? Does that even make any sense? IF you want to make a CG cartoon … don’t be shy. Just make one! That would have sold better — at least then you’d be catering to the Dreamworks/Sony Pictures crowd.
Similar Posts:
- The Day after the Day the Earth Stood Still
- Random Comments: Fool’s Gold
- Skew Review: Untraceable
- Random
- Akon Sexy Chick and Australia movie
- LoL Productions
- Classic 80’s movies like Wargames
Remember the live action Super Mario Brothers movie?
…yeah.
Live action adaptations of cartoons just doesn’t cut it.
Especially an adaptation of a 1960’s Japanese cartoon.
Talk about a niche subculture that never should have been adapted on the Silver Screen.
Quite honestly, for fans to say that “Speed Racer was one of the first truly successful anime franchises in the United States” is like saying Masanori Murakami was the pioneer of Japanese baseball in America back in 1965. Well, he may have been the first, but not the most influential (that would have been Hideki Nomo). Kinda like the Vikings discovering America. Doesn’t mean jack, folks.
The cartoon was corny. 1960’s anime belongs in a Japanese museum, where it can be appreciated and revered, not remade into a live action Hollywood film to go one on one with IRON MAN.
Maybe this movie was a labor of love for those Matrix brothers. All I know is that I’m happy it bombed.
PETA claimed that a whistleblower on the set of Speed Racer reported that a chimpanzee used in the production was beaten after biting an actor.The incident was confirmed by the American Humane Animal Safety Representative on the set, who reported that the stand-in for the Spritle character was bitten without provocation. The AHA representative also reported that “toward the end of filming, during a training session in the presence of the American Humane Representative, the trainer, in an uncontrolled impulse, hit the chimpanzee.” The AHA Film Unit referred to this abuse as “completely inexcusable and unacceptable behavior in the use of any animal.” The AHA has rated Speed Racer “Unacceptable.”
In its opening weekend, the film grossed $18.5 million. The film was backed by multiple promotional partners with over $80 million in marketing support. The partners include General Mills, McDonald’s, Target, Topps, Esurance, Mattel, and LEGO.
Yeah no one likes those lame ass cartoon movie remakes in live action…seriously who watches that shit