The following is not an advertisement or a hoax:
As you can see from this photo, truth can be stranger, or in this case smaller, than fiction.
We bought the Gorton’s fisherman garlic and herb fillet thingie, which is advertised to come with six fillets. The picture shows this huge portion, and the box is big enough to make you believe it.
I just looked at the front of the box again, and, nope. There is no disclaimer saying, “Item displayed is larger than it is in real life” or whatever.
As you can see from the above photo, the “fillet” amounts to a fish stick.
Now, I know times might be tough for the Gorton’s fisherman, out there trolling in Long Island or where ever, but can this composite corporate character seriously expect me to have faith in him after this? I ask you: can you trust the Gorton’s fisherman?
As I am now under contract with my doctors and the meat industry to eat flesh of other sentient beings for the next 15 years ($4.00 per gallon of gas last summer was my price — what’s yours?), I have very little alternative on this subject. I am forced to feed on the LIES that frozen foods have to offer on the weekend before Thanksgiving, when we will be leaving town and there’s no point in stocking the fridge full of food. So, whereas we normally fry our own fish in a fryer (you know, with fillets that are the size of the ones pictured on the BOX), my family is now forced to eat, eat, eat fish sticks fillet for dinner.
To his credit, the Gorton’s fisherman stuck a seventh fish stick in the box, probably out of guilt.
Look, if you’re going to sell fish sticks, just call them fish sticks, okay? Thanks.
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