The Original DailySkew

Parodies, commentaries, short stories, reviews, opinions ... you never know what you'll read next.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

1984 Comparison: Part III

- Outer Party
-- Government employees

- Inner Party
-- Local, state, and federal congressmen, judges, and other appointees

- Big Brother
-- Governors, Presidents, and Prime Ministers

- Emmanuel Goldstein
-- Third party candidate in the U.S.
-- Savage
-- Greek Philosopher
-- Biblical prophet

- Shouting during the Two Minutes Hate
-- Heavy Metal Concert
-- a fervent Charismatic church gathering
-- riots
-- An exciting play or moment at a sports event

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

1984 Comparison: Part II

- The glorious successes of the Ninth Three-Year Plan ... meanwhile, you don't have razor blades to shave with.
-- Emails, newsletters, and memos that proclaim how great things are at [INSERT NAME OF COMPANY] ... meanwhile, you get a .5% raise every year, if you're lucky ... there's no room for advancement, the in-house "Training" isn't accredited (and therefore, meaningless) ... in other words, you don't feel the glorious successes [INSERT NAME OF COMPANY] is proclaiming.
-- Presidential Candidate X saying the economy has never been better ... meanwhile, you can't afford food or gas for your car ... and you're one of the lucky ones to live in America.
-- Any salesperson promising the world and delivering nothing.
-- The old Bait and Switch
-- Caveat Emptor
-- CNBC talking head trying to paint a positive picture during a stock market downturn

- War is Peace
-- Communism is our enemy; therefore, let's move our factories to their territory, so that they may become capitalists via osmosis.

- He who controls the present controls the past.
-- History is written by the winners.
-- Does anyone remember history anymore, besides historians and history buffs?
-- RetCons are commonplace in comic books and real life.
-- A politician could be caught on tape saying on thing, and will still deny it and get votes.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Part I: A Man in America compares his modern life to the fictionalized Man in Europe

I've decided to draw some analogies between 1984 the novel and my personal experiences. Read it and weep:

- George Winston sitting in the cafeteria, feeling like he's the only one who sees the truth and not some idiot quacking away the Party line reminds me of:
-- Blogs with a partisan, political bent. Yeah, explain to me how you're pro-abortion and anti-death penalty. I want to bask in the Skew'ed logic. Or how you liked Saddam in power but want Tibet freed by any means necessary -- tell me more about how Buddhists deserve freedom but not Iraqis.
-- News media, explaining something I've known about for years to its audience of idiots in child-like terms.
-- Executives who refuse to apply common sense to corporate strategy for fear that shareholders will riot
-- Politicians afraid to do what the public wants because of a lobbyist or small
special interest group that provides funding to their campaigns

- George Winston not having a true friend
-- Welcome to South Florida. No wonder the 9/11 terrorists took up residence there.

- Newspeak
-- Text-messaging lingo

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Monday, April 28, 2008

Another example of revisionist history

Or, to paraphrase from the book 1984: "He who controls the present controls the past."

Here's a quote from a CNN Money news article I read this morning on my cellphone (a.k.a. my modern morning newspaper):

In September 2007, the most recent month for which data is available, more than 20% of subprime mortgage borrowers with scores of between 840 and 900 were 60 days or more delinquent, according to First American LoanPerformance. That default rate was roughly equal to that of borrowers with much lower scores, in the 540 to 599 range.
Oh, you didn't know? Que Road Dogg and Mr. Ass:



Thank you.

Anyway ... did I miss something? All I've heard these past few months are that subprime borrowers are people with BAD CREDIT who received mortgages they couldn't afford from incompetent lenders. Since when did people with excellent credit scores become considered subprime borrowers?

I love how this article jumps straight into the notion of "20% of subprime borrowers with scores between 840 and 900" WITHOUT EXPLAINING THE NOTION.

Sorry. I'm not buying that people with scores between 840 and 900 are subprime. Excuse me if I don't pull out my wallet and believe that the office manager of a Fort Lauderdale radio station is a subprime borrower. I refuse to invest in doublespeak.

By labeling someone with excellent credit as a subprime borrower, this potentially sets us all up for higher interest rates and costs associated with credit cards and loans in the future ... as well as ever-insidious bank fees, charges, and penalties. I can see it now:

"Why has my interest gone up ten points?"

"Well, sir, you are a subprime borrower."

"Excuse me? I have an excellent credit rating!"

"AND you own a home that you may not be able to afford. So, of course you are subprime."

I'm sorry, but to paraphrase 1984 again, We were not at war with Eurasia last week, no matter how many times you tell me otherwise. I remember, Gosh darn it!

Sigh. Since half the population is doped up on pot or prescription psychotropic medication, I know these words are a complete waste of time. Since the other half of the population is watching pornhub or whatever, I should just give up. After all, I'm no better. I, too, am "Only human."

Label me subprime, even if my score is 900. I'll take 20% interest on my next car loan, Alex. Really, I don't mind. I know paying my bills on time is not enough. I need to earn more money, and since my company only has enough profit to build a golden parachute, I won't be getting any raise this year.

***

Meanwhile, people are dying in Darfur. Who cares about fat Americans who over-leveraged themselves? Well, after they come after the people with good credit, they'll come after whoever is left. There will be fewer people able to assist the poorer parts of the world financially, and the few with money may not care to do so.

I'm just sayin'. Think about that when you wire money to loved ones somewhere in Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Brazil, Nigeria, Haiti, and other far-flung places. Your family is counting on your help. The people who are benefiting from this crisis want your money, too ... and THEY don't care who starves in order to get it.

Write your congressman. Encourage them to pass a bill that forces banks to refinance these loans so that value of the home represents today's prices, not the bubble prices of three years ago.

Oh, wait. I forgot. You're all overmedicating and watching porn. Never mind.

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