Cheating is Wrong
Damian Hospital 11/27/2005
By and large, society and peer pressure both promote that cheating on your significant other is something we are all entitled to, and should try out. That behavior is encouraged and reinforced by certain musicians, movie and television celebrities, and athletes. Most of your classmates or co-workers would support your extracurricular rendezvous as well, more so if you provide them with the details.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, I am forced to actually define what being unfaithful is before I continue. If a couple promises to be in a committed relationship, that means no other erotic stimulation-physical or mental- is permitted. (The only addendum to this statement is if BOTH members of the couple agree that such activity is permissible, like “swingers” or “sharing”- expressed approval to be with someone else.) [I do not have such an “open relationship”, so for the purposes of this article, I will ignore that addendum.]
ANYTHING ELSE IS DECEPTION and violates the commitment. It is disloyal, unethical, immoral, immature, wrong, incorrect, and evil.
My own rule of thumb is this: If my lover was not physically with me, I would still pretend she was with me at all times. Would I kiss a co-worker on the mouth and caress her hair if my lover was standing there? No- so I wouldn’t do it. Would I call a friend at 2:00AM and profess my love for her? No. Would I go to a strip club and get a lap dance? No. Would I meet an escort at a motel? No. Would I flirt with strangers and give them hope that they have a chance with me by making forward remarks? No. Would I engage in romantic e-mails or instant messages? No. Would I go out with “old flames”? No.
For many of our readers, I may sound old-fashioned, condescending, conservative, holier-than-thou, judgmental, and maybe even hypocritical. Too bad- you know it’s wrong. Don’t you care about your so-called loved one’s feelings? Would you like it if she or he slept with me or my friends behind your back? If you don’t care, then you lack the emotionally maturity to be in a relationship in the first place.
If you don’t care about the consequences of your philandering actions, then you deserve all of the suffering that will ensue due to your deceptions, including having your partner leaving you for good. Obviously, based on your actions, you don’t believe in Hell or karma. You figure as long as you don’t get caught red-handed, it “never happened”.
(Well, I got news for you: are you so gullible to believe that the people you’re cheating with will keep their mouths shut for eternity-that they won’t tell anyone? Ha, ha, ha!)
Look, I understand how tempting it is. There are so many attractive people out there. In the U.S., existence is transitory; people are always moving around- only staying at jobs, schools, and cities for short periods of time, and always meeting new people. You could go on a business trip in another state or country with so much ease.
And even if you are the passive type, there are certainly aggressive people who will try to tempt you. To me, there is no greater pleasure than physical intimacy. Conversely, the feeling of betrayal may be too much to handle. That’s why you have to keep it within your relationship. You would be HURTING your partner beyond words. All of the trust you had built up would be gone forever.
Now, time for an advanced moral dilemma: what happens if your partner refuses to engage in sexual activities with you anymore? Obviously, he/she is gauging to see how loyal you are. But how long should you permit that to continue?
The reason your partner is doing this is critical. If, for example, he/she caught you talking to a naughty person via several e-mails, you should be in the dog house for a while, obviously. If you and your partner have been getting on each others nerves and have been arguing, maybe it’s time to take a break for a while. But when the time is right, and you try to become intimate in bed, he/she should be receptive as per your commitment.
Everyone should understand fully, however, that if one member of the couple shuts the other out, and does not engage in physical contact, the odds increase that “something” may happen. Sex is a physical and emotional need, and part of a healthy relationship. Denial of sex is a violation of the sacred contract.
I know a woman who had some problems with her boyfriend; you know- arguing about his personality quirks, nothing about infidelity. Well, she went to a therapist who told her not to have sex with him until he starts to change his ways. How unprofessional is that? That just opens up a can of worms and creates more problems. I know women have a reputation for playing that game, and it is very immature. For any women who are reading this, and play the pu$$y control game, don’t be surprised if your man calls Danny over at Platinum Pleasures Escort Services and is late from “work” the next evening. And for any man who is stupid enough not to please your woman when she asks for it, you’re just asking for trouble.
In conclusion, although I have personally witnessed people cheating on their significant others (usually the people were drinking alcohol), I do know many people that ARE 100% loyal. It IS possible if you have the desire to be an honest and loving partner.
Labels: aggressive, alcohol, boyfriend, cheating, ethical, girlfriend, hell, honest, hypocritical, karma, lover, loyal, old-fashioned, passive, philandering, relationships, romantic, unfaithful
