The Original DailySkew

Parodies, commentaries, short stories, reviews, opinions ... you never know what you'll read next.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Another example of revisionist history

Or, to paraphrase from the book 1984: "He who controls the present controls the past."

Here's a quote from a CNN Money news article I read this morning on my cellphone (a.k.a. my modern morning newspaper):

In September 2007, the most recent month for which data is available, more than 20% of subprime mortgage borrowers with scores of between 840 and 900 were 60 days or more delinquent, according to First American LoanPerformance. That default rate was roughly equal to that of borrowers with much lower scores, in the 540 to 599 range.
Oh, you didn't know? Que Road Dogg and Mr. Ass:



Thank you.

Anyway ... did I miss something? All I've heard these past few months are that subprime borrowers are people with BAD CREDIT who received mortgages they couldn't afford from incompetent lenders. Since when did people with excellent credit scores become considered subprime borrowers?

I love how this article jumps straight into the notion of "20% of subprime borrowers with scores between 840 and 900" WITHOUT EXPLAINING THE NOTION.

Sorry. I'm not buying that people with scores between 840 and 900 are subprime. Excuse me if I don't pull out my wallet and believe that the office manager of a Fort Lauderdale radio station is a subprime borrower. I refuse to invest in doublespeak.

By labeling someone with excellent credit as a subprime borrower, this potentially sets us all up for higher interest rates and costs associated with credit cards and loans in the future ... as well as ever-insidious bank fees, charges, and penalties. I can see it now:

"Why has my interest gone up ten points?"

"Well, sir, you are a subprime borrower."

"Excuse me? I have an excellent credit rating!"

"AND you own a home that you may not be able to afford. So, of course you are subprime."

I'm sorry, but to paraphrase 1984 again, We were not at war with Eurasia last week, no matter how many times you tell me otherwise. I remember, Gosh darn it!

Sigh. Since half the population is doped up on pot or prescription psychotropic medication, I know these words are a complete waste of time. Since the other half of the population is watching pornhub or whatever, I should just give up. After all, I'm no better. I, too, am "Only human."

Label me subprime, even if my score is 900. I'll take 20% interest on my next car loan, Alex. Really, I don't mind. I know paying my bills on time is not enough. I need to earn more money, and since my company only has enough profit to build a golden parachute, I won't be getting any raise this year.

***

Meanwhile, people are dying in Darfur. Who cares about fat Americans who over-leveraged themselves? Well, after they come after the people with good credit, they'll come after whoever is left. There will be fewer people able to assist the poorer parts of the world financially, and the few with money may not care to do so.

I'm just sayin'. Think about that when you wire money to loved ones somewhere in Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Brazil, Nigeria, Haiti, and other far-flung places. Your family is counting on your help. The people who are benefiting from this crisis want your money, too ... and THEY don't care who starves in order to get it.

Write your congressman. Encourage them to pass a bill that forces banks to refinance these loans so that value of the home represents today's prices, not the bubble prices of three years ago.

Oh, wait. I forgot. You're all overmedicating and watching porn. Never mind.

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