Vahl rips IOC Rogge and defends Bolt
(CNN) -- Jamaica's sprint sensation Usain Bolt should show more respect to his beaten rivals says International Olympic Committee chief Jacques Rogge. [OH REALLY?]
Jamaican Usain Bolt is the first man to break the world marks in both sprints at an Olympic Games. [CONGRATULATIONS! RESPECT!]
"I have no problem with him doing a show," Rogge told the Associated Press after Bolt's latest triumph in the 200 on Wednesday night. [UH, HUH]
"But [TYPICAL POLITICIAN] I think he should show more respect for his competitors and shake hands, give a tap on the shoulder to the other ones immediately after the finish and not make gestures like the one he made in the 100 meters." [WHY DON'T YOU RESPECT HIS CULTURE, MR. IOC CHAIRMAN? MAYBE BOLT'S NOT AN UPPITY BELGIUM.]
Rogge was referring to Bolt's antics [UH, YOU MEAN TOTAL DOMINATION] in Saturday's 100 final, as he eased up in the final meters, glanced around with arms outstretched and pounded his chest before crossing the line in a world record of 9.69 seconds [ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS IN OLYMPIC HISTORY. "THE THRILL OF VICTORY."].
"I understand the joy," Rogge said. [NO YOU DON'T, LIAR. YOU'RE JUST BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT, TRYING NOT TO OFFEND THE ISLAND NATION OF JAMAICA.]
"He might have interpreted that in another way, but the way it was perceived was 'catch me if you can.' You don't do that. But he'll learn. He's still a young man." [WHO INTERPRETED IT THAT WAY? DID YOU TAKE A POLL, MR. ROGGE? OR DID THE CHARDONNAY SIPPERS YOU HANG OUT WITH DECLARE THAT'S HOW THE PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT IT?][YET ANOTHER POLITICIAN WHO CLAIMS TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK WITHOUT EMPIRICAL PROOF. DOES HE PSYCHICALLY TAKE POLLS? READ MINDS? WHAT.]
Bolt, who celebrated his 22nd birthday on Thursday, completed his double with another runaway victory in the 200, breaking Michael Johnson's 12-year-old record of 19.32 seconds by two hundredths of a second. [OKAY -- HE RAN STRONG THE ENTIRE RACE. THAT SHOULD PLEASE HIS DETRACTORS, RIGHT?]
After his victory, he appeared to make no effort to acknowledge his fellow competitors [NOPE. JUDGE NEWS MEDIA HAS SPOKEN. WORSE THAN JUDGE DREDD] and embarked on an extravagant victory lap [JOY? HOW DARE YOU SHOW JOY, MR. BOLT? AFTER ALL, YOU JUST BROUGHT HOME THE GOLD TO YOUR COUNTRY! THE FIRST TO DO THAT FOR JAMAICA IN THE 100 AND 200 METERS DURING THE OLYMPICS! WHY SHOULD HE SHOW JOY AND NATIONAL PRIDE? WHY HASN'T HE BEEN CASTRATED INTO A GOOD SPORT YET?] in which he swayed to reggae music [WELL, THERE YOU GO. I DOUBT MR. ROGGE RESPECTS REGGAE MUSIC, OR JA FOR THAT MATTER!] and lapped up the crowd's attention.[BY THE WAY, I DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THIS WHEN MICHAEL PHELPS AND HIS TEAMMATES WERE GOING CRAZY AFTER WINNING ONE OF THOSE RELAY RACES BY A SPLIT SECOND. TYPICAL DOUBLE-STANDARD, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ASK BARRY BONDS, IF YOU NEED A CLUE.]
"He still has to mature," Rogge added. [NO, MR. ROGGE. YOU NEED TO GET THAT STICK OUT YOUR BEHIND.]
"I would love him to show more respect for his competitors. [THAT'S RACIST] That's not the way we perceive being a champion. [WHO'S "WE"? I KNOW I PERCEIVE HIM AS A CHAMPION! WE HERE AT THE DAILYSKEW PERCEIVE HIM AS A CHAMPION] But he will learn in time. [UH, HOW DO YOU INTEND TO TEACH HIM, MR. ROGGE? YOU'RE STARTING TO SCARE ME] He should shake hands with his competitors and not ignore them. He'll learn that sooner or later. [HE'LL LEARN THAT YOUR CULTURE IS BETTER THAN HIS?] But [HERE COMES THE DOUBLESPEAK] (he's) a great athlete, of course. [MR. ROGGE, WE KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT.]"
"Bolt is in another dimension in sprints," said the Belgian. [A DIMENSION THAT MR. ROGGE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.][I WONDER IF MR. ROGGE IS RELATED TO WILLIE RANDOLPH, WHO HAD A SIMILAR STICK UP HIS BEHIND OVER LASTINGS MILLEDGE AND HIS JOY AFTER HITTING A GAME-TYING HOME RUN?]
"Bolt must be considered now the same way like Jesse Owens should have been in the 1930s. Bolt has a bigger edge than Owens on his rivals. [ROGGE KNOWS HE'S WRONG, SO NOW HE'S TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT.] Of course, Owens had the long jump too, so you can't compare people. [DAMN ... HE STILL FOUND A WAY TO DISS LIGHTNING BOLT!] If he maintains that in the future, Bolt will be someone that probably leaves a mark like Jesse Owens. [PROBABLY? HE ALREADY DID, SUCKA!]"
U.S. sprinter Owens famously dominated the 1936 Berlin Olympics as he won golds in the 100-200, the sprint relay and the long jump. [I WONDER WHAT MR. ROGGE WOULD HAVE SAID BACK IN 1936 ABOUT JESSE OWENS?]
Rogge's remarks sparked an immediate debate but U.S. sprinter Shawn Crawford, who crossed the line fourth in the 200 but was upgraded to the silver medal after the disqualifications of Wallace Spearmon and Churandy Martina, said he saw nothing wrong in Bolt's showboating celebrations. [THANK YOU]
"I guess there's mixed feelings among athletes," he told Associated Press [MR. CRAWFORD PRACTICING HIS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS]
"To me, I don't feel like he's being disrespectful. [AMEN] If this guy has worked his tail off, every day, on his knees throwing up like I was in practice, he deserves to dance. [PREACH IT! PREACH IT!]"[AS USUAL, THE MEDIA WAITS UNTIL THE END OF AN ARTICLE TO REVEAL THE TRUTH]
Labels: Rogge, satire, truth, Usain Bolt, Vahl
posted by Skew | Thursday, August 21, 2008
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