‘Miraculous Survivors’ of 9-11 Brought In For
Many of us have heard the stories of the lucky people who chose not to go into work at the World Trade Center or the Pentagon on September 11th.
Well, some of the ‘call in sick and live’ survivors may not have been so lucky after all, according to His Royal Highness King John Ashcroft.
“We have reason to believe that these people ['call in sick' survivors] had previous knowledge of the impending attacks on September 11th,” stated an indignant King Ashcroft on Wednesday, before a Senate judiciary committee.
“I would not term these despicable people as ‘lucky’. Oh no. I would call them accomplices, traitors, and murderers of the highest order. It was not luck that helped these people did not show up to work on September 11th — it was the cold, hard knowledge of what was to happen that fateful day.”
As the death toll number from the 9-11 attacks goes down, the number of survivors being brought in for questioning has gone up.
“Anyone who survived that day, who worked in those buildings [WTC and Pentagon], is going to be brought in and possibly detained,” stated an insider at the State Department. “If these people thought detention in High School was bad … wait’ll we get through with them.”
The widows of 9-11 are indignant. Wives who became widows on September 11th are raising their voices, calling the King’s actions “unseemly” and “lacking credibility”.
“Who does he think he is?” yelled one widow at a press conference Thursday morning. “Does he really think we’re just going to get in line and march into the gas chamber? Well, he’s got another thing coming!”
King Ashcroft refused to answer the widows of 9-11 directly, only stating cryptically, “Time will tell who was patriotic during these times of great turmoil in America.”